Choices

I have made a bazillion choices throughout my life.

Some good, some not so good.

This morning I made the choice to eat bread and jam. That was good.

Yesterday I made the choice to read all day instead of clean. That was not good.

13 years ago I made the choice to be married and to one day welcome children into my awaiting womb.

And welcome them I did.

I threw up, a lot. I ached, a lot. I cried, a lot. My body is not the same.

But I am thrilled with my choice. Everyday there is something to find joy in.

But besides carrying them, baring them, and giving them the basic needs essential for life, I feel that I signed up for much, much more.

I made the choice to teach my children about their Savior Jesus Christ. Not just in word, but in deed, action, example.

Sometimes I feel like we're succeeding, sometimes I'm pretty sure the only way my children are listening is if they hear the words treat, or candy.

But I take what I do very seriously. As nice as it would be if it were otherwise, I am hugely responsible for how they turn out. Every choice I make in not only mothering them but in my own life will affect them. It will.

Which is both good and bad obviously. For one thing it means I cannot devour chocolate cake for breakfast without letting them do it too.

But I will gladly continue with this mantle of responsibility. I will revel in the moments where my oldest tells us about her knowledge that Jesus Christ lives and that she knows He died for her.

I will cry with joy when my second child doesn't give up and is rewarded for her efforts.

I will laugh when my first son dances with glee to Barbie music.

I will be grateful for my 4th child who reminds me where she gets her sassiness. (me, in case you didn't know)

I will feel absolutely gleeful watching my second son do his kung fu moves.

And I will be reminded once again of the joy of motherhood as I hold my 9 month old baby in my arms, as she plays with my mouth, sucks her own fingers, or nuzzles in for some mother's milk.

I have made choices, and fortunately for me, I get to live with them.