Monday, December 15, 2008


Much is going through my head this morning. It snowed the last couple of days, knocking out my cable, phone and internet for a while. So now that my computer is working again I am ready to unleash all of my profound brain-thinking-stuff.

For starter, weight loss has not come this time around post baby. For whatever reason, every time I attempt to eat less, my milk supply for Nora diminishes. As always, this is a reason for utmost panic on my part. I am uncomfortable with current proportions, but I am more uncomfortable giving her formula just so I can get skinny. That will all come in time.

However, I need reminders as to why this is ok. When the scale doesn't move. When the next size down still won't fit. When I purchase one more "just until I get back into my other clothes" shirt or pair of pants. When I look at pictures and go "uggh, who is that?".

But the reminders do come. I woke up leaking and full of rich, yummy made just for Nora milk. (This is quite a phenomenon for me. I've never still been so able to produce mass quantities of the good stuff by the time my other children were 5 months old. So lack of weight loss has indeed had it's benefits, for Nora. )

The problem, however, was that Nora was still sleeping.

So I had to wake the poor child up because I needed relief from the pain. On awakening my little princess, I discovered she had done some leaking of her own. I stripped her down, changed her, and was attempting to dress her when she suddenly became aware of an empty tummy.
She happily ate naked. Soft, fuzzy, warm little diaper only baby. Aahhhh. And I marvelled at the gift of feeding a hungry child. Of being blessed to nourish her with my own brand of liquid gold. I felt full myself. Full of appreciation for the not so little gifts. Full of awareness that being skinny is not the most important thing. Full of love for the chubby, pink little gift snuggled in my arms. On this beautiful snowy day, we were both Happily Fed.


  1. Are you trying to make me cry...again?! Fatty or not, feeding is the best. I know ALL about it. As you know, I had to draw the line at 9 mos and a size - I seriously can't even type it. Oh so sad. But I think we're all happier - except when I read this blog. Wahh. I love my babies. hang in there. It'll soon be gone, so very gone - and you can never get this time back.

  2. Those sweet pictures made me cry. Especially with the exciting things that are happening to me, when I see pictures of Nora...oh, my word I'm so excited to have another little one!! I was talking to my sister last night about how hard it is to take time every two hours, but after reading this, I'm kind of excited to have that 'snuggle' time!!

  3. She's absolutely beautiful Amy :)

  4. Holy Cow it has been a long time....and you had another beautiful baby. Oh and are we living the same life or what. My baby Miley is nine months old and everytime I tryed eating less my milk would go away. What internal battle i fought for the four months I nursed. I did quit and put my beautiful baby on formula. Five brest infections and another 13 pounds later I threw in the towel. Never before had I quit that early and I started loosing weight. Sooo yes you will loose the weight. And I know how you feel. I'm so glad I found your blog. Alisa


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