Ode to Kidney Stones

Oh Kidney Stones, how you do adore me.
How you dance and wriggle hoping to make me giggle.

Instead you make me cry.

Why you ask?

Your attempts at merriment, I must confess, are way off the mark.

While you revel in your time with me, as I writhe in pain on the couch,
it seems there would be another who is competing for my time.


While you jab and jostle me, to earn love from me, a box of fishy crackers has found it's home on the floor.


Some are crushed, other's are thrown, while some are being eaten by my love.

His name is Henry.



He may not have your talent for positioning yourself gleefully where I pee, but his talents of decorating a la Pepperidge Farm surpass the hold you have on me.


And while you've encased me in layers of agony, he will forever know the true way to capture my heart and earn his place on the couch next to me.


For there is nothing as noticeable, my calcified friend, as crackers stuck to your feet.

And while you may resist my desire to flush you out, to surround myself with better friends,

you must know that no matter what, you will come out in the end!!