Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Complain away NieNie, complain away.

I was reading a very popular blog today, and the blogger was telling how someone had emailed her and told her to stop complaining about being so sick with her pregnancy because some people would love to be sick and pregnant since they can't get pregnant at all.

This blogger then told anyone who had a problem with her complaining about being sick to kindly not read her blog anymore.

And though I am not pregnant, I have been pregnant a fair amount. And I was sick. Really sick. I figure I was sick approximately 20 months of the 54 months total that I was pregnant.
I didn't have a blog when I was pregnant, but I can guarantee that I either wouldn't have blogged at all while sick, or I would have complained. A lot.

I took medication for some of my pregnancies just so I would throw up less. I still threw up, even with medication.

Things didn't just taste a little funny, everything tasted awful. Except for that one weird thing that finally sounded good that I made Jeff drive all over town trying to find for me.

I didn't just gag, or feel sick to my stomach. I threw up on average 6 times a day without medication. Sometimes more. Medication helped me keep anything down the first three months.

And I did it 6 times. It didn't get better with each pregnancy. It actually lasted a little longer with each one. I had some miracles during pregnancies that eased some of it, but for the most part I just had to wait til that magic 14, 17, or 20 week mark until I could hold all of my food down.

And I complained. I cried to Jeff. I wondered EACH TIME, "Why did I get pregnant?" And then as soon as I didn't feel sick anymore, and I could get out of bed, I remembered why.

I think it's easy for others to say that you shouldn't complain because someone else has it worse. Well that's true. Someone else has it worse. Someone always does. Complaining doesn't mean that you don't know that. It just means, that for that moment, you need to say out loud what you're going through. And that you don't need anyone telling you, "You know, goats in Greenland would gladly eat those holy shoes you're complaining about having to wear." You just need someone to say, I'm so sorry, is there anything I can do?

And of course, this is not a green light to be the person that no one wants to stand by at parties.

I'm just saying, please let pregnant woman complain about anything they want to, ok? They know they're blessed. They know they are lucky. But when you just lost your breakfast for the 20th day in a row, or when you can't tie your own shoes, you lose a little perspective.

I for one, would do it again. All of it. I would be super sick again, 6 times over. Because despite my complaining at the time, I knew then, and I know now, that I'm blessed.

And when I get frustrated with those lovely children that I sacrificed so much for, I also still know that I'm blessed. And when those children jump on the trampolines encased in inner tubes, and use them as weapons on each other?

Yup, I still know.


  1. I love it. I totally agree. I felt so bad for NieNie, I couldn't believe someone would have that kind of nerve. But then I felt bad for that person too. You always have to wonder what kind of pain someone is in to spread the misery like that. Anyway, I can't believe you had six kids being that sick and I laughed out loud to your goat eating shoes line. Seriously, you are fuuuuuuunny.

  2. I was also surprised to read about Nie Nie's hate mail. I think by her naming the person who wrote it will cause her to get a few hate emails herself which is never a good thing...

    I agree with you- let a pregnant lady vent.

  3. Well said, Amy Dear. Love Nora's face in the close-up.

  4. As someone who can't have babies I don't mind at all if others complain about the process. Really, it's such a blessing that of course you'd want to share it! (Likewise, as a widow, I am very happy to hear others vent about their spouse in a healthy way. It's part of life!)

  5. I was disgusted that someone would write that, let alone to her!! Seriously someone always has it worse than someone else, so what. That doesn't give anyone justice to say that.
    I agree complaining or as I like to call it "venting" is just that, letting it out so one can move on and sometimes process what they just let out........ I delivered a stillborn little boy (Ian) 4 years ago and at the same time a good friend was pregnant and you know what, when she "complained" on her blog about not seeing her feet in WEEKS let alone tie her shoes, and how she was just so ready for baby girl to be done cooking already, I laughed and offered to come tie her shoes for her... That poor girl was HUGE belly, I mean HHHHHUUUUUUGGGGGEEEEE!!!!

    I can only imagine what it would be like to burn practically your entire body but to then have to go thru the experience of stretching that oh so sensitive skin, I cringe for her AND can't wait to see pictures of the little miracle!!!!


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