Clearing up confusion. At least my own.

I realized after my story yesterday, that y'all aren't in my head. You don't know the main reasons why I turned down the chorus and so I come across sounding like a fussy baby. Which I am. But I don't like SOUNDING like one:)

First of all, I'm not jealous of Jeff. I encouraged him to try out in the first place.

Second of all, I'm not mad that I didn't get a main part or that I was asked to "only" be in the chorus.

I turned down the chorus because it made no sense to me to try and find people to watch my children 2-3 times a week just for me to stand back and watch Jeff dance with someone else. My little heart couldn't take it.

If he and I had been a couple in the play and been able to spend alot of time together, then maybe arranging babysitting would have been worth it. However, when we wouldn't even interact the whole time, it seemed like a lot of strain on the family without the benefit of being together. And there is the whole, WATCHING HIM DANCE WITH SOMEONE ELSE, part. How many of you could do it? I mean, I'm going to have to experience that when we go and see the show. But at least now I don't have to watch it 20 times between now and then.

And if Jeff wasn't in the play, I would have happily been in the chorus. But as per all the reasons above, it just didn't make sense. And because they desperately needed men more than women, I fell on the sword so to speak.

And maybe if Jeff and I did things like this all the time, then we would have something worked out. Taking turns, already having regular babysitters to rely on, something. But as it is, he's in, I'm out, and now I'll be at home watching the kids instead.

Oh wait, I already do that.

And I know that they liked me. They said so. They debated over what to do with me. But ultimately they chose teenage girls to be the brides. I was too old and possibly too hefty to be thrown over anyone's shoulder. (Have you seen the movie? There is a lot of throwing around.)

So that is why I cried and cried. Wouldn't you? But I'm almost over it. Almost. I should be just fine in about 2 months.

Tomorrow I promise I will post about things completely unrelated to this. Promise, cross my heart!