I was unfriended on Facebook.The first time it's happened to me, as far as I know.
I realized it had happened because I went to check on this "friend".
Only to see a "You must be friends with ____ to view their profile."
What?! I thought we were friends. Not just on Facebook, but actual friends.
Did I do something to offend? I tried to think back over my updates to see if I had said anything nasty or foul or offensive. AS. IF. I don't even think those things, usually, let alone put it down in writing for all the world to see.
So I emailed this friend. Told this person that my feelings were hurt but that I understood and no hard feelings.
This person emailed back with an explanation that basically put it on me, like they wouldn't think that I cared because I hadn't emailed back (only I was the one to send the first email at that time so obviously I cared since I emailed first!), blah blah blah. LAME
And I essentially wrote back saying that I thought it was lame.
Then ensued emailing back and forth, sharing how we felt, both of us acting like we're still friends and this won't change anything.
Sure.
And you know what? It really did hurt my feelings, and it just felt like a brush off, or something.
It was like having someone break up with you and not being told why..
Or suddenly having someone you thought was a friend stop talking to you. Wait, that is what it is.
But I was honest with this person. I didn't just say, "Oh well, who cares". Not that that's bad if you genuinely feel that way. But I didn't genuinely feel that way, and I decided to say something.
So I'm still bothered by it all, I think there are other reasons that I won't go into. But it's awkward since we have mutual friends and I'm sad that life has gone in that direction.
But I also know that I did nothing to deserve it, so the problem is all on this person's shoulders. Not mine.
So please share, make me feel better. Ever been given the brush off? Treated badly by someone you thought cared about you? Not that I want that for you, but as my mom always says" Misery loves company"
Me=sort of miserable about it
You=company
You know Amy this type of thing happens on facebook without anyone un-friending you...
ReplyDeleteI received an email from a friend asking me why I un-friended her and I didn't know that I had....
SOOOOOOOO maybe FB just messed up, they do that from time to time...
Anyone who doesn't want to have you as a friend or to be your friend is REALLY missing out. Life is really beautiful and YOU make it more so. (Do I sound totally biased??)
ReplyDeleteAmy:It is hard to accept when friendship is strained. But it is even harder when the coming together is one sided. Still further on down the road we learn people are complicated in that their reasoning is not logical but emotional. Circular logic goes around and around and never says what it means. I'll put my toe in the water and see what comes of it.
ReplyDeleteDirect communication is best and you have done that. More so he or she who goes the extra mile drops the burden and one will pick it up if time and conditions and the Holy Ghost give direction.
Oh, Amy. I am so sorry. FB is a funny little beast. I have four sisters who are no longer my FB friends because they got very upset a couple of years ago over my use of ‘big words’. One thought that I was secretly making ‘digs’ at them, another thought I was insinuating that they were stupid, and anther thought I was being pretentious. But, no, I just like to use big words.
ReplyDeleteIt really hurt to be given such a hard time for just being me, but I have to admit that I enjoy my time on FB now that I don’t have people calling me a word snob! ;)
Electronic communications are difficult. There are people who feel every email needs a response to the point where people are sending simple “kewl, thx” emails to each other on a regular basis.
I hope that you are able to repair your friendship or that you are able to find peace in the knowledge that you’ve done your best and that maybe (for now) things are as they need to be.
And if it helps, you don’t have to reply to emails I send. After all, I don’t think I ever responded to the incredibly kind FB message you sent me a few weeks after my husband died. (But I re-read it every-so-often because it was such a nice message.)
xx
People can be stupid. You are not alone in experiencing stupid people. Hope that helps!
ReplyDeletethe other day i had at least 706 "friends" and now i have 704... and i have no idea who even unfriended me. hahahha. except i guess that makes ME the bad friend, but i was actually really sad when i noticed that. also. this one time my friend on a mission asked me to check up on a mutual friend and get his address for her and when i went on facebook to get it, same thing, he had definitely unfreinded me. i almost cried. (not really... but kind of). haha except for instead of asking why i just re-friended him
ReplyDeleteYour mom is absolutly right!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd if someone is going to be THAT petty... do you really want to be friends with them? Friendship should be fun and uplifting and not SO much work. I LOVE you!!!!!!! You have been my best friend for 18 years now!!! You have a heart of gold!!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
My best friend from childhood recently let me know in so many words that I have not been returning her calls, and making our conversations short when we did talk. While all of this was completely off of my radar, once she brought it to my attention, I realized and understood her point of view. It only took a quick conversation for me to reassure her that these things were just the result of my life, and not any affront to her. Sometimes we just might not realize how the little things that make up our regular routines, while normal to us, might affect those who love us in a different way. My friendship with her meant enough for me to hear her out and realize how my actions (or inactions) were affecting her so deeply. Friendship is surely a give and take, and I learned from my friend that although I was hearing from her, it was just as important to her that she hear from me.
ReplyDeleteThis has totally happened to me too! Lame. Actually, the first time it happened to me, I didn't realize people could "un-friend" you and I made an idiot of myself. I sent another friend request and said something like "I don't know why you're not one of my friends anymore." "Something funky is going on." Later on I realized that actually they just didn't want to be my friend anymore. Lame. I love you Amy and will ALWAYS be your friend and will never un-friend you on Facebook! BTW, I love this picture of you! Gorgeous and BEAUTIFUL eyes!
ReplyDeleteIf they didn't have the class to handle it all better, you're better off without them. I know it still stinks, but seriously? Who has time for such childish behavior?
ReplyDeleteYou're cool. Poo on them.
I agree with everything that has been said. It is a really hard thing to go through. I had my best friend who I considered my other half leave me. It destroyed me as a person thinking I wasn't good enough. It happened clear back in 96 and guess what last month I wrote her an email and said we should talk. It has bothered me for so many years and I just couldn't do it anymore. I think we are starting out slow but at least I can say that we are trying. That is alot more then what I could have said the last 15 years. So I am really sorry this happened to you. Keep your chin up and know your great!!
ReplyDeletevery sorry, Amy. But don't let it get to you...life's too short to sweat the small stuff. :)
ReplyDeletewho wouldn't want to be your friend - seriously! you are such a warm, kind, creative, spunky gal - i sure love you!
ReplyDelete