Tuckered

Remember when you were a kid and you ran around all day with the cousins/friends/siblings?

Laughing, having water fights, riding bikes, jumping on the trampoline, road trips with the family?
And then when it came time for bed you said "I'm not tired!", "It's not dark outside, why do I HAVE to go to bed?"

But you would be so exhausted, despite your claims otherwise, that you would fall asleep on the car ride home and your older sister would eat your ice cream cone, or you would spill the can of root beer you had been holding but be so glad cuz it covered up the fact that in your exhaustive state you peed all over the station wagons back seat?

Luckily, these guys still wear diapers.

But I felt like that this last week. Completely tuckered out.

And while I no longer steal Maile's ice cream cones, and thankfully I'm old enough to not pee my pants when I fall asleep in the car anymore, I have felt like a worn out little kid.

My feelings have stemmed,not from the physical exertion that exemplifies childhood, but from the inner tantrums I have thrown as I have dealt with very grown up sorrows, worries and feelings of being overwhelmed.

We learned that a dear friend of ours died in a plane crash this last week, leaving behind a wife and two children. Go here to read more about it.

My uncle died on Friday from Lou Gehrig's disease. To learn more about Lou Gehrig's go here. He was 61.

We received $700 worth of medical bills in the mail.

And other issues too personal to share that have thrown us for a loop.

But mixed in with that has been a childlike wonder as I watch our first garden grow, as our youngest and last child gets ready to take her first steps, as I witness the deep sorrow of people I love who have lost someone this last week.

My goal this week, however, is to still be tuckered out, but hopefully from laughing so hard my belly hurts, playing so hard that my legs hurt, and loving so much that my heart hurts.

And I wish the same for all of you.