Enjoying while I can

I saw something yesterday that at first confused me, and then saddened me.

While driving, I was behind a lady in a little green Mazda Miata.

I first noticed her license plate holder that said, "My Miata Moment......No more child support!!!"

I was confused. I don't normally associate women with being the ones to pay child support.

And that's not sexist of me, just traditionally children stay with their mother.

Then I noticed her license plate. It said, "SHEIS18"

Then it all clicked.

This women's daughter turned 18, and since she no longer had to support said daughter, so she went out and bought herself a little sports car.

Fine, she is excited that her daughter can support herself now and so her money is freed up for a 1998 green Mazda Miata.

But to advertise it with a vanity plate and license plate holder?

I tried to imagine the relationship she and her daughter have. I can't imagine it's anything like the relationship I have with my children. I certainly don't expect to be done helping them just because they turn 18.

Why? Here is one example:



This is a picture of my double jogging stroller. I bought it almost 14 years ago right after Julia was born.

I have logged thousands of miles on it. Lost a lot of weight because of this awesome little stroller.

All of my children have sat in it while I ran or walked.

But it is the end of an era. For two reasons.

The first and foremost is that because of my back, I can't push a stroller anymore. Pretty much all I can do is the elliptical. That is getting better though and I expect to feel very recovered in the next 6 months.

But by that time, Nora will be in kindergarten and Henry will be at school all day, and there will be no need for a double stroller.

So I sold it today. And cried on my way home from meeting the gal who has 3 small children. One an infant.

Whaaaa!

That is how I feel about my children. I am sad that they are growing up.

Example number 2: As we are looking for houses in Ellensburg, I am realizing that Kate will only live under whatever roof we find for 3 1/2 more years.

Then she is either off to serve a mission for our church or to college.

3 1/2 more years is nothing!!!! That is the blink of an eye. I already get teary eyed when I think about not having her here all the time. When I realize that I won't be able to go down to her bedroom and wake her up or sit on her bed and talk to her.

And then a year after her? Julia is gone.

I love my children. I don't relish the thought of them being gone. I really don't.

3rd example: Anne Marie went on a field trip today and it didn't work for me to chaperone this time. I felt so sad as she went to the bus stop thinking that I would miss out on seeing her face as she walked around the Museum of Flight.

And no, that is not mother guilt. That is a true desire to be with my children.

It honestly is amazing that I don't homeschool them. But I know it would be more about me than them.

Example number 4:



This is how Nora went to the bus stop yesterday. How much longer will she put her own outfits together like this? How much longer will be want to sleep with me at night? (Of course Jeff wishes this stage was over already)

She will be 5 in July. In 4 months, my BABY will be 5!!!!!

I am a mess about all of this lately. I know that there are good things about your children growing up, time together with Jeff, grandbabies!!!!

I just don't understand when people celebrate their children leaving. I'm not saying there aren't up sides to having a house to yourself and less of your money leaving your bank account. But at the cost of no more pitter patter of little feet. No more teenage girls laughing. No more brothers wrestling.

So to the lady in the green Miata. I hope you really are happier now than you were when she was home. Which you probably are since you're advertising it to the world.

I don't plan on being LESS happy when my children are gone. Because they will still be mine. But I sure won't have a party to celebrate them leaving. And you will NEVER see a vanity plate on my car that shouts to the world, "They're all gone and I couldn't be happier about it"

Because I won't be happier about it.Andt for now, I will enjoy every moment with them while I can.

The end.