I am re-posting this from three years ago, because it still applies, and it just made me happy today.

I am re-posting this from three years ago, because it still applies, and it just made me happy today.

I'm a Goonie

"Don't you realize? The next time you see sky, it'll be over another town. The next time you take a test, it'll be in some other school. Our parents, they want the best of stuff for us. But right now, they got to do what's right for them. Because it's their time. Their time! Up there! Down here, it's our time. It's our time down here. That's all over the second we ride up Troy's bucket. "

I used to think that my brother and sister and I were the only ones who truly knew and loved the Goonies. Hey, I was 12,what did I know? We watched it over 50 times probably, and could quote along with it word for word.

Simply because I grew up in such a small little town, I felt a connection with Mikey, Mouth, Chunk and Data. Why? Because it felt like there was nothing ever to do except what your imagination provided. I imagined great adventures where I found a secret treasure. Not adventures like Brand and Andy. Kissing wasn't a totally awful concept, but it would be another 4 years before I would kiss a boy, so the boy/girl relationships bored me. But the adventure of Goonies called to me. It whispered in my ear that I wanted to do great things. That I wanted to discover something lost and mysterious with my brother and sister and a few friends in tow.

And yet, I never did anything daring, or adventurous, or discover-ing. I've only been to Canada. I've never sailed the ocean or tramped thru a jungle. I have not hunted lions or delivered aid in Africa or even bungee jumped.

But I do not regret my life

Because....in no particular order....I got married at 22.

Had my first child a year and 3 months later.

Then had my second, third, fourth, fifth and sixth children.

I moved around the country, waded (I don't swim) in the Atlantic Ocean, and saw the Statue of Liberty with my sister.

I've seen Niagara Falls, Nebraska corn fields, and the Rocky Mountains.

I sang with the Providence singers, went to college, broke my collarbone, and climbed unknowingly into a mountain lion's cave.

I have served others, made others laugh, and given love when it was most needed.

Those are some of the highlights of my life. Nothing exciting, nothing worthy of an unofficial tell all type biography.

But it is my time, my time down here. And I will never ride up Troy's bucket. That is for sure.

What to do.....

I have been thinking this week. No, this is not a new thing for me, I usually think.

Maybe the better word is pondering. Okaay.

I've been pondering about kids growing up, people changing, life throwing funny things your direction.

We really don't know what is going to come our way. It can be wonderful, amazing, fantastic things that make you soar and feel like the world is yours.

It can be painful things. Events that make you wonder what your purpose on earth is other than to just feel physical pain and emotional sorrow.

Or it can be sudden realizations that much of your life experience is completely yours for the making.

I actually hate that realization. Cuz if it's up to me what my life is like, then who the heck do I have to blame? Just kidding, sort of.

I have found myself wishing for a life that is more simple, less complicated, less busy and more fulfilling.

Owning a farm, Jeff working from home and 300 days a year of sun? Yes, I will take 1 awesome life please. 

But if that order is not fulfilled, I can be happy with the life I have. Yes I can!

And in a year and a half, when I am 40 and all my kids are in school, what is my plan?

In 5 years when Kate and Julia are both at college, what is my plan?

When kids start getting married and having their own babies, but I still have 2 teenagers at home, what is my plan?

Yes, I have decided I need a plan.

Up until now, I have kind of let life happen to me. Which is fine. It has happened in many good ways.

But I'm feeling this funny tickle in my gut that is suggesting ever so kindly, that I need a plan. Otherwise I will feel like I'm wandering. And that is very unsettling.

Do I decide that 40 is the new 20 and become a fitness model like so many 40 somethings do these days? Uh, probably not.

Do I get a job? No stinking way. *ahem*. I mean, no thank you:)

Do I volunteer more at school since I will have time?

Do I stop answering the phone when people start calling me to babysit because they think I have all this free time now? Um, maybe?

Do I go back to school and finish my degree? Sounds interesting.

Do I enjoy the fact that no one is home with me during the day and the house can stay clean? Yes.

Do I bide my time until I have grandbabies and then just spend all my extra time travelling to see them?

(Kate holding my wonderful friend's adorable baby girl)



Grandbabies and visiting my children sounds kind of awesome. I mean, I could be a grandma in as little as 5 years. I probably won't be. But I don't know what life holds for my children either. Kate wants to finish school and go on a mission for our church, but she could be married at 19 and have a baby when she's 20. Who knows!! Wait. I can't think of that as a possibility. Sorry, being a grandma at 43 sounds too weird.

Anyway, I'm all curflumuxed about what my future holds. Can you tell?

Some of this has come from a recent diagnosis I got. Nothing serious. Just a little degenerative disc disease. But the person I have always been, the go get em, busy, million projects at once, accomplish whatever I set my mind to person I have been, has had to slow down because of horribly annoying and painful back issues.

And it's made me wonder what makes up my identity if I physically can't do many of the things that I have used to define myself?

If we had lots of money rolling in, then maybe I could be more like the ladies in previous centuries, where they don't actually do all the work themselves, but they manage everyone and tell their gardeners and cooks and housekeepers what to do.

That would be kind of fun. A huge rolling estate with stables and 40 bedrooms?

(The Breakers in Newport, RI. Previously owned by the Vanderbilts. I've been inside, it's amazing!!)

Or maybe I plop it in a chair and wait for my spine to fuse together? Nah. That would just annoy me.

So tell me, because I desperately want to know, that is if anyone is out there. I haven't blogged in so long that I feel like I'm talking to an empty room-tell me, do you have a plan? A life plan, a next five years plan, anything! Share please, give me ideas. Because life is not exactly how I planned it would be and I am having to readjust. It's thrown me off a little, and I'm ready for inspiration.

Go. Inspire me. Solve my dilemma. Please:)

Tuckered

Mid-afternoon nap after playing all morning with friends. Good thing they were still in their pajamas. Well, Nora wasn't in her pajamas, but since she insists quite frequently to sleep in her clothes, it's pretty much the same thing:)

What is it about sleeping kids? I think it's that there is something so angelic and lovely about their faces. It always makes me want to curl up next to them.

I love being a mom.

Fantastic year

Our middle school has an awards night at the end of every school year.

Julia was invited to attend since she was receiving something. We weren't entirely sure what it all would be.

We knew she would receive the all A's award because she has busted her hiney this year. She did really well last year as well, with a 3.7. But something clicked in her and she decided that wasn't good enough.

But I told her, now that I know you can do this.........

But the surprise of the night was the departmental award for Math. There might have been some whooping and hollering from the Allen section (Kate!!!).

As you can see, Julia is preeety please with herself. As she should be:)



And my younger kids were just happy to be out of the house obviously.



The conquering school girl. She has every right to look that darn proud!

Letting Jeff have his way

Hello! Yes. I'm alive.

We're finishing up all the last stuff for school.

Awards nights, final choir concerts, last projects,etc.

I'm so ready for summer.

It's weird, I always look forward to school starting so that I can get back into a routine and get organized.

But then I look forward to school getting out for practically the same reason.

I'm random like that.  Or maybe you all are the same?

One of the things that we have done over the last week was to go to Maple Valley Days.

We've lived here 4 years and have never gone before. Mostly because we either had a small baby, or the youngest kids were young enough that the thought of trying to wrangle them during a parade and then in a large crowd for another 5 hours after that made me feel nutso!

But mostly because I just have not wanted to go. I'm fussy that way.

But this year Jeff persisted. He really wanted to get out of the house and go. So we did. And thankfully, it didn't rain!!!!

The lack of rain was a miracle. It was still cold, especially in the morning for the parade, but it didn't rain! We all had coats and blankets, on June 2nd for crying out loud!!!

And of course in all my planning that would keep things free or cheap, like bringing our own lunch, I forgot the camera. What kind of blogger am I?

Luckily Jeff pulled out his phone and at least recorded that we were there.














That balloon Charlie's holding? Um, he spent a good amount of time annoying us and those around us by making it "scream". Jeff finally had enough, and popped it with his pen. Good parenting? Maybe not. Thankful parade neighbors who were sitting near us? Most definitely.

We also let the kids go on 1 of the amusement rides.

Why am I so mean and only let them go on one ride? Because the rides were 3 or 4 dollars, each!

I'm sorry. That's ridiculous.

But a bunch of local churches sponsored a free kids area that had bouncy houses and free games, a magic show and entertainment.

We spent most of the time there. And I am sooo grateful. Cuz by the time we left, the kids forgot that they only rode one ride.

All in all, I'm glad we went. And I even admitted that to Jeff. I don't love crowds, they give me anxiety when the kids are with us. And I hate spending money on expensive rides and overprices fair food.  But the kids had so much fun and were so easy to put to bed, that it was worth it.

How was your weekend?

Can't touch this!

I love my sister.

I was there.

The loud one laughing so hard I could hardly breathe.

It was worth every penny of the 25 bucks it took to drive to Gig Harbor.

I'm posting it here because no one should miss thirty and forty something women doing a dance to MC
Hammer.

Enjoy.